


Maybe, Darling (We'll be Alright)

by LuciferneverLies



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Domestic Pricefield, F/F, Issues, Slow Burn, people with history to friends to lovers, will add necessary tags as the story progresses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-10-30 08:38:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10873152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuciferneverLies/pseuds/LuciferneverLies
Summary: Surely this was a mistake, a ploy by the very woman who sent the inconvenient piece of paper to her. A trap, she liked to believe, just for the sake of character.Past history, she reminded herself, willing the flight within her brain to activate so she could turn the hell around and leave.-Five years is a long time to go without seeing the one person who helped make your life worse, but sometimes people have a way of just surprising you. As our lovely Kate will find out. But she's also not the same girl either, not after everything.





	1. Give Me A Sign

**Author's Note:**

> OR
> 
> An idea that hit me, and felt like enduring with all of you.

She was feeling apprehensive. It emanated around her like a cloud, clear and unnoticed by those walking around her as they enter the building before her.

A swear was lodged itself in her throat, an old habit she picked up on after leaving Blackwell that she’d done her best to control. The paper she held nearly crumbled by how many times she gripped and loosened her hold.

She shouldn't be here.

Surely this was a mistake, a ploy by the very woman who sent the inconvenient piece of paper to her. A trap, she liked to believe, just for the sake of character.

Past history, she reminded herself, willing the flight within her brain to activate so she could turn the hell around and leave.

However, that never came so instead, with her free hand she pulled her phone out of her bag, checking the time.

“5:37 p.m,” she sighed, switching her gaze back to the building. The event had already started seven minutes ago, she was late. Not something she would pride herself in, always believing that arriving at the desired time was practical. Needed, really.

Yet Kate couldn't find it in herself to venture further. She could feel the gaze of the person standing at the entrance. Feel the weighted stare from where she stood planted on the sidewalk.

Biting her bottom lip she returned her gaze to her phone, tapping the screen. She browsed through her contacts, halting at her publicist.

She could call and squeeze in an appointment, maybe even see if the dates came back yet or if anything had been altered.

 _But she mentioned she was going to be busy_ , Kate reminded herself, scowling at the screen before shutting it off, and slipping the device back into her bag. Everyone else she kept in regular contact with were also otherwise engaged or out of reach, so she sighed, resigning to her fate, “I guess it would be rude to not show up.”

Slowly she smoothed out the wrinkle in her pencil skirt, clicking her heels against the pavement as she made her way over to the man holding a tablet. That more than likely held the guest list.

“I was worried you'd never move,” the man said snidely, giving Kate a once over. She bit the inside of her cheek to do the same. He’s young, maybe no older than her. Quite tall, dark hair and brown eyes, nicely dressed, and handsome. He was eye candy, Kate would give him that.

Possibly gay by his response. Not that she would judge of course, and she smiled slowly.

“Kate Marsh,” she hummed, keeping her voice pleasantly warm. “If it's not on that I have the actual invite.” She flashed the paper, holding his gaze as she said it. Not knowing if the paper alone would give her access.

He gave her a curt nod, looking down at his tablet and moving his fingers swiftly through the screen. “Ah, Miss Marsh.” He nodded, giving her another look. “You're just a tad shy of fashionably late, but yes you're on the list.”

The snide tone wasn't evident this time, so Kate merely nodded her head. Squaring her shoulders, she gave him another smile before striding past him to enter.

She really wished that she wasn't on the list. Or at the very least that someone would give her the sign she needed to leave.

 

* * *

 

Once she passed the doors she exhaled slowly through her nose, counted to five, and moved further inside.

The first thing she noticed was the centerpiece in front of her, a faded out image of a butterfly resting on a bucket. The image itself looked vaguely familiar, not digital from the look of it.

Wordlessly she stepped closer, looking at the plaque beneath it.

Butterfly Effect by Maxine Caulfield.

“Max, never Maxine,” Kate huffed, resting a hand on her hip to look back at the image. “Of course this would be one of Max’s.” She said a moment later, smiling softly.

Her Guardian Angel did deserve recognition after all. Given that she was a natural with her camera, and also took quality shots. This one as well, despite it being altered by enhancing the blue of the butterfly wings, fading out the background.

“Chloe must have done this for her,” Kate hummed, looking down to adjust the cuff of her blouse. She felt ill at ease, calmer than she was before walking into the building. Maybe she'd go unnoticed, and chalk it up as fate by the time she'd leave.

“Kate,” a low voice said, causing her to halt in her movement. “Kate Marsh, is that you?”

Virtual Slut, Abstinent Abby, Sister Hypocrite, the names could go on, in the very same voice that said her name. The very voice that featured in her nightmares from time to time.

Belonging to the person who sent her the invite.

 _Maybe if I pretend that I didn't hear her she'll go away_ , Kate thought hopefully. Keeping her gaze on her cuff. A minute went by, then two. The sound of heels tapping rhythmically caused Kate to drop her arm to her side, craning her head just so to see if she was left alone.

Before she could sigh inwardly in relief Kate, upon realizing she hadn't been, felt her mind short circuit. Of course, she knew the person who invited her, having a vague idea that this was a ploy by the eighteen-year-old that had hurt her before.

Yet she wasn't greeted by the eighteen-year-old. She knew five years was enough time for people to change. She, herself, had. But she had suspected that Victoria Chase would not be one of those people.

Looking taller in her heels Kate slowly dragged her eyes from Victoria’s never ending legs, that were covered by handsomely tailored black straight legged slacks, to the dark grey vest that exposed unblemished tone arms, and shoulders. The vest itself cut in the center of her chest revealing a bit of cleavage.

Kate swallowed thickly, hoping her face remained neutral as she moved her gaze away from Victoria’s chest to look at her face.

The first noticeable change was her hair, stopping mid shoulder and a bit mussed. Still blonde as ever, Kate noted a moment after. The second thing was the fact that Victoria looked so calm? Something she would never associate with the woman who now stood before her. Neutral, impassive, unphased, sure but never calm. Thirdly, she looked good. Healthy, beautiful.

Although Victoria had always been beautiful to Kate, despite how completely...not nice Victoria was known to be. Much to her discomfort.

Blinking twice Kate remembered she was staring and had yet to respond. Slowly she turned to fully face Victoria, giving her a small smile. “Yes, that's me. You look...wow, Victoria.” She breathed out kindly. Despite the nagging voice that kept telling her to turn around and run for it.

To her surprise, Victoria’s mouth quirked into a tentative smile, “thank you.” She said, moving her hand to gesture at Kate. “You look...different.” She offered, sounding unsure to Kate. “A good different, mind you. Just not what I expected after…”

 _After you ran away_ , Kate finished in her mind. Knowing exactly what Victoria meant. She bristled at first, words flooding themselves around the tip of her tongue, waiting to spill out. But she swallowed them down.

Instead, she relaxed remembering she was merely a guest after all and didn't look forward to being thrown out.

“Five years does that.” She supplied, looking down at her outfit. The blouse was a classic button up, cream colored. It was tucked neatly into a black form fitting pencil skirt that stopped mid-thigh. Her legs were bare of any stocking, and she wore pumps to appear taller. Not as tall as Victoria, but the height was noticeable.

“Of course,” Victoria said with a hum, stepping closer to Kate. “I love what you've done with your hair.”

Kate reached out to touch the braid that hung off her left shoulder, tentatively touching the end subconsciously. It was still long of course, but she hardly ever styled her hair in a bun as she did when she was a teen.

A habit she lost over time, among other things.

“Uh, thank you.” She said, cursing herself inwardly for starting with uh. “My publicist believes it helps me give off a mature look.”

Victoria simply looked at her fully, almost as if she were sizing her up. Kate wanted to squirm under her keen gaze.

“It suits you, cher,” Victoria said after a moment, nodding her head. “Since you're here, would you like a tour,” she asked, keeping her smile intact.

The ‘since you're here’ was not lost on Kate. She was unsurprised in fact since the two had no contact after Kate left. Not after the incident on the roof truthfully.

 _Victoria thought I wouldn't show up_ , she mused distracting herself from any negative thoughts that were begging to come to the surface.

Wordlessly she nodded her head in turn and falling into step beside Victoria once the blonde took the initiative to move.

 

* * *

 

Neither really spoke.

Not that Kate minded, she just didn't know what to say.

 _That's a lie_ , she scuffed. Of course, there were things she wanted to say. Why being the most prominent thought that would filter around. Why then, why the silence after, why _now_?

But she found herself lacking the opportunity. Every other corner was met with someone needing to pull Victoria aside, praising her for the success of the opening night. Kate would tune out the conversation, opting to look at the images on the walls.

Which continued to surprise her. At most, she'd seen ten of Max’s own photographs, all with the signature analog look. Pride swelled within her chest, she’ll have to remember to say as much over tea soon.

 _If the tea doesn't make her gag_ , Kate reminded herself frowning inwardly after the last tea date they had. _Poor Max couldn't stand the smell._

Her musing was halted by a painting that caused Kate to pale. The image was dark, possibly the darkest among the ones that Kate had seen. More importantly, it was one of Kate’s originals from when-

“Ah, that one’s my favorite,” Victoria said, causing Kate to jump. “Sorry,” she mumbled, “I didn't mean to startle you, I finished talking with another artist.”

“That's fine,” Kate mumbled, keeping her eye on the piece. A vague remembrance from her artwork in 2013, during the weeks leading to October, held no candle to this one.

There was a girl with her back turned to the audience, standing in filtered light, with demons circling around her. The image itself lacked color, all black, white and grayscale. Although the significance of _that_ , Kate wouldn't force herself to acknowledge.

Her gaze fell to the plaque, feeling her breath hitch in her throat.

“Requiem of Sorrow,” Kate said softly, to herself. “Artist: Unknown.”

“I bought it from a private collector,” Victoria murmured. “Truthfully I didn't know what to call it, but the image was quite gripping. A lone girl, surrounded by demons who mock her.”

Kate felt her palms begin to sweat, stomach churning. Victoria was almost right about the painting, except the demons were Kate’s thoughts, and the girl was ready to die. Her right arm begun to flare in irritation, she felt like itching it.

“I wish I could credit the artist,” Victoria added after, unaware of Kate’s inner struggle. “The collector didn't tell me so of all the pieces I have featured, this one remains unknown.”

Kate nodded her head, exhaling a slow breath. It took seven minutes of controlled silence and breathing for Kate to turn and look at Victoria, who looked at her with what appeared to be worry?

Before she could say something akin to an insult a voice drew their attention away from each other.

“Victoria,” a male voice boomed enthusiastically, Kate shifted on her foot when she realized it was Evan. “And _Kate_?”

“Hello, Evan.” Kate greeted kindly, taking the young man’s appearance in. He was dressed handsomely in a tailored suit. Hair styled similar to what it looked like in Blackwell, and still wore the same frame of glasses. Most notable was the golden band on left hand.

 _Evan’s married already_ , Kate realized. For a moment she tried to think back on his interests in people but drew a blank. He seemed kinda above everyone, friends with Alyssa, but that was barely at best.

“Wow, I can't wait to tell Luke I got to see _the_ Kate Marsh after all this time,” Evan breathed out, giving her a quick once over. “Leaving the Bay was obviously a smart choice back then. You look absolutely stunning! God, if I had my camera I'd ask for a photo.”

Kate didn't miss the way Victoria stiffened from the corner of her eye, or the scowl the presented itself for a moment before she composed herself.

 _So she hasn't changed completely_ , Kate noted stiffening also at the realization. Maybe this really was some kind of trick? Maybe she was going to wait until they were alone before she started her usual shit? Maybe-

Before her paranoia could get the best of her, Kate forced herself to relax. It was assumptious at best. Victoria hadn't been unprofessional or rude the entire time they've walked together, nor has she flaunted her wealth besides small segments of buying the pieces personally.

Instead, Kate clears her throat, giving Evan a questioning smile. “Luke?”

“Oh! My husband, Luke Parker,” Evan grinned, furrowing his brows slightly at Kate. “He went to Blackwell with us, in our year. He was in two of your classes…”

“That Luke,” she said, questioning smile morphing into a kind grin, and nodded her head. “You got quite the catch Evan,” she added after.

“Thank you, Kate,” Evan grinned, shifting his focus to Victoria when she cleared her throat. “Oh, right! Victoria, I thought Max would be making an appearance? Between her photos and mine, we both have the most shown.”

“Caufield’s agent said Maxine was currently unavailable,” Victoria muttered, sounding exactly like she usually did at Blackwell. Bored, unimpressed. Unbothered. “It was a shame that she couldn't make it. The Butterfly Effect has been given the most praise from what everyone has told me.”

“Max, never Maxine,” Kate and Evan uttered in unisons before looking at each other. Neither said anything at first until Evan broke into a smile. “Exactly.”

“Uhm, yeah,” Victoria said, causing Kate to look over at her. “I'll call Caulfield ‘Max’ when hell freezes over.” Kate raised her brow at Victoria, her lips drawn into a slight pout.

The word _bitch_ flashed in her mind, but that wouldn't be nice to say aloud. No matter how true it was. But it felt great having it circulate around her mind, until Victoria looked over at her, looking slightly startled.

“Sorry, Kate,” Victoria huffed, shrugging her bare shoulder lightly. “Old habits are hard to shake.”

The duck quacks, the dog barks, the horse neighs, and Victoria Chase knew how to say sorry. More than once.

Wanky.

Kate nodded her head, not trusting her voice. Taking that as a positive sign Victoria turns her attention back to Evan, and Kate relaxed some.

“Since you're also here I wanted to congratulate you on your pieces that you allowed to be featured,” she said simply, “the beached Whale has the most frequented crowd.”

“Really? I figured the policeman holding the child would.” Evan marveled, and Kate felt like slipping away to let them speak.

“Second best to the whale, Evan.” Victoria sighed and Kate could feel her exhaustion from where she stood. She gave her a quick glance, a blush rose to her cheeks when she noticed Victoria was looking at her.

It lasted a moment.

Not very long, just a blink. And then Victoria looked away. Kate wasn't sure what to make of it.

Before she could even remotely ponder at the very least Evan cleared his throat, drawing Kate’s attention towards him. “I gotta ask since I'm here, and you're here--”

“You're married, _Parker_ ,” Victoria said, biting out Evan’s last name. The tone alone was enough for Kate to stiffen, looking between the two.

“Ha, ha Victoria. Very funny,” Evan muttered, dryly. He shook his head for good measure, before looking at Kate once more. “So, where’d ya go after you bol--”

“ _Evan,_ ” Victoria warned, Kate saw the way she glared at him. Almost as if she were staring at the very eighteen-year-old who haunted her after all this time. “Don't you think that’s--”

“What I'm just trying to see where they--” The word they caused Kate to blanch, she knew exactly what Evan was inquiring. Panic starting to build in her gut, she wasn't ready for something like this.

“That doesn't mean ask her in the middle of my _fucking Galla_ ,” Victoria hissed, Kate snapped out her thoughts, biting her bottom lip to keep it from trembling.

“Jeez, _less_ vemon please,” Evan laughed, Kate noticed him shifting on his foot a second later, looking slightly put off.

“Less thick-headedness,” Victoria shot back, giving him a scowl before looking at Kate, softening a bit. “Forgive him, he clearly hasn't improved much.”

“Ouch,” Evan laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Anyways before Victoria can bite my head off,” Kate looked at him fully, noting the curious glint in his eyes. “Where’s Rachel? Is she around here with you?”

The name hit Kate like a semi, causing the breath to leave her lungs sharply. A year and a half, not even two. It still hurt like a bitch.

Kate blinked twice, willing away the tears, and smiled tightly at Evan. “No, R-rach-el,” _stupid, stupid,_ she berated herself, before clearing her throat, “she didn't come with me. Ah, she's not here. In Seattle.”

She winced, saying her name usually did that. The hitch at the start, the stutter. She thought she had gotten better with time, but the name felt off. Wrong, really.

“Oh, that's a real shame,” Evan sighed, giving Kate a sheepish grin. “She was one of my favorite models ya know? And it’s wild that she ra---”

Kate looked over at Victoria when she heard her clear her throat, loudly. Her face wore the infamous Victoria Chase scowl, “Jesus Christ, Evan.” Victoria muttered, harshly. “I invited her here to see what was featured, not to be dragged into _your fucking pitiful inquisition_.”

“Woah, woah, hey,” Evan sputtered, throwing his hands in the air. “I was only curious, _chill_ Victoria,” he laughed, though Kate was sure he was afraid. “Jeez, your claws are showing.” He then looked at Kate, “It just,” he started, waving his hand, “it was mind-boggling ya know? My favorite model running off with well, no offense, but you? It was the talk of Blackwell until we graduated, hell even after.”

  
“Fuck, Parker I thought you were _so_ above the gossip,” Victoria said, scowl dangerously close to turning into a sneer. “Maybe it’s because you thought you were too cool back then, but I guess even you aren’t _exempted_.”

“I uh,” Evan started, Kate noticed his throat bob. “Come on, Victoria. You can’t say that you’re not curious?”

“That wouldn’t be for _you_ to _know_ ,” Victoria huffed relaxing her stance, she then spared Kate a look before flicking her gaze back at Evan, her face more relaxed than before. “This is neither the time or place to inquire these things from someone, Evan. Look around us,” Victoria muttered sharply, gesturing around them.

Kate glanced around the area they were in, noticing the people that stopped to look. _Of course,_ she grimaced inwardly, _those two make a scene and people stop to see_.

The familiarity between Victoria and Evan wasn't lost on Kate, but that was pushed towards the back of her mind, something to assess later inside the comfort of her own loft.

She shifted on her foot, moving her hands apart to allow her hand to grip the strap of her bag. The need to bolt growing stronger.

“Well, uhm---”

“There’s nothing to see here,” Victoria said, loudly. Waving her hand at the crowd with a smile. “Just a reunion amongst friends. Please, continue to enjoy yourselves.”

Kate almost broke her neck to look at Victoria, who was glaring daggers at Evan while people around them ventured on with their viewing. The word friends was just as laughable as Victoria kindly dismissing a crowd.

 _We don't even know each other_ , Kate sputtered, eyes narrowing slightly the more she looked at her. _Who is she and where is the real Victoria hiding_?

“Sorry, Kate,” Evan began, drawing her away from her thoughts. “It's just wild to see you after all this time.”

“It's fine, I understand” Kate breathed out, giving him a soft smile. “It's more of something to talk about over tea,” _or whiskey, lots of_ whiskey, Kate’s mind finished.

“Makes sense,” Evan agreed, shoving his hand into his pocket. A second later he pulls out his phone. “Uh, speaking of. May I have your number? I mean for tea or maybe a photo shoot?”

 _And capture you in a moment of desperation_ , the words echoed, leaving Kate feeling hollowed out. She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts, and smiled tightly. “Sure, I'd love to meet over tea.”

Evan hands her the device, she swiftly adds herself to his contacts and then hands it back.

“Thanks, Kate,” Evan said with a grin, flicking his gaze away from her to Victoria. “I’ll email you later for more images, yeah?”

“Of course, _Parker_.”

“Ha ha, Luke will love to hear that anyways,” Evan huffed, waving to the both of them, and then walked off.

“Well, that was eventful.” Victoria huffed, pulling Kate’s attention to her. She gave Kate an inquisitive gaze, but she shook her head.

“He hasn't changed since Blackwell,” Kate muttered, shoulders slouching slightly. “Still a bit tactless.”

“Not to mention draining,” Victoria quipped, shifting a bit closer to Kate. “You handled yourself well though, Cherie.”

“I, uh.” Kate looked at Victoria wearily, glancing down at her chest and then at her face. Dog, she needed to get laid. “Well, it wasn't so bad. Possibly the company.”

“That's slightly comforting to know,” Victoria sighed, giving Kate a soft smile. “Mind if I walk you to your car? Times almost up here I'm afraid, and we didn't get much time to chat.”

“I took a bus here,” Kate admitted, moving her hand to dig out her phone for her bag. “I'll call an uber to come get me.”

“An uber,” Victoria began, looking at Kate with a grimace, “I can skip the rest of this event, people know how to clean without my supervision, and I’ll drive you home.”

It was a statement, not a question. Typical Victoria.

“No, it's fine,” Kate said, hitting the button to phone her usual uber. “Mine’s a part timer that I've known for awhile, so I'll be okay.” She placed the device towards her ear, giving Victoria a quick look before focusing on the ringer.

When the line picked up on the fourth ring, Kate grinned.

“ _Hiya, Bun,_ ” the person on the other end said. “ _I just finished up shop_.”

“Hey,” she chuckled, pressing the phone closer to her ear. “Remember that gallery opening up downtown? I had an invite and came by. Could you, uh--”

“ _Book it to come save you_?”

“Yeah, that.”

“ _Alright, I'll tell the Missus_ ,” a chuckle, followed by a shout. “ _She wants to know if I'm bringing you home or taking you to your place_?”

“Mine, please.” Kate sighed, smiling happily. “I'll be outside.”

“ _Alright see you in five_ ,” another shout, “ _Jesus, hormones_!” followed by some random loud noise, “ _Ow, fuck! I'll see you in twenty! Later, Bun Bun~_ ”

Kate bit her lip to stifle her chuckle. It was good to know she could count of their antics to pull her through.

Once she was sure the line was dead Kate slipped her phone inside her bag, shifting her gaze back to Victoria, who was giving her the same peculiar look from earlier.

“I, uh,” Kate started, shifting slightly when Victoria’s eyes zeroed in on her face. “My ride will be here in twenty minutes.”

“I see,” Victoria hummed, stepping closer to Kate. “Then I’ll wait with you. We could,” she paused, giving her a sort of imploring look, painted lips drawn in a slight pout, “talk? I mean we didn’t get to during the tour because I was needed or well...Parker.”

 _No_ lodged itself into Kate’s esophagus, wanting to come out in force. Yet for some reason she found herself stalling. While fleeting moments had shown just how much Victoria had not changed, there was still this softness? This air around her that Kate couldn’t quite identify.

Instead, she found herself shifting on her foot. “I wouldn’t mind the company, Victoria,” Kate said, softly. “Just until my ride gets here.”

Kate felt her breath hitch in her throat at the way Victoria smiled, eyes staring softly at her. It was disconcerting, unsettling in a way Kate couldn’t describe.

For a moment Kate wondered _where_ this version of Victoria came about, and _when_ she made her appearance? Because while she still seen glimpses of the eighteen-year-old who taunted her, belittled her even, she saw someone new. _Maybe she changed like I did_ , Kate thought, knowing that she wasn’t the exact same as she was five years ago.

So she steeled herself, casting a grin Victoria’s way. “Walk me to the entrance then?”

Victoria blinked a moment, long lashes fluttering in a way that shouldn’t captivate Kate. _Chloe would definitely grimace and then cackle about that_ , Kate thought, biting the inside of her cheek. _She’ll probably try to take me out to another club_. _Although the last time had rather...ill results_ , Kate sundered inwardly, she definitely owed Dana Ward a gift basket.

“Of course, Cherie,” Victoria said after a moment, drawing Kate from her thoughts. She held out her arm, bending it slightly, to offer her elbow expectantly. “So, you mind telling me what it is that you do,” Victoria started, flashing a small smile as she lifted her brow. “You mentioned a publicist?”

Flicking her gaze from Victoria’s arm to her smile, and then back to her arm. _You agreed to small talk dummy_ , Kate reminded herself, exhaling through her nose while she tentatively grabbed Victoria’s arm. “I write and illustrate children's books,” Kate offered after they begun to move, ignoring just how soft Victoria’s skin felt. “It’s refreshing.”

“Mm, isn’t that something you wanted to do since we were in Blackwell? I vaguely remember it being mentioned,” Victoria murmured, Kate looked up to see her eyelids drooped some as if contemplating. “Caulfield might have been the one to have said it...once or twice.”

“Uh, yes,” Kate said, dumbly. Her cheeks flushed lightly, “you’ve actually spoken to Max back then?”

“More like she word vomited on and on about something, and I half ass listened,” Victoria chuckled, giving her head a shake. “Honestly, I think we’ve actual talked more now outside of Blackwell then we did when I was head bitch in charge.” She frowned a moment, “mostly now I talk to her agent. So, whatever.”

“That’s...I’m sure she’s just been busy as of late,” Kate mumbled, giving Victoria a questioning smile. “Besides you have ten of her photos on display.”

“They’re quality shots,” Victoria huffed, placing her hand on top of Kate’s. “I’m all about featuring the best of what there is to offer. If that means sucking up my pride to show Caulfield's work I’ll do it.”

Kate gave a hum, moving her gaze from Victoria to the ever approaching entrance of the building that she wanted to leave. With her free hand to checked her phone, lips tug into a small smile. Her ride will be there in five minutes.

“Kate,” Victoria said, causing Kate to look from her screen to look at Victoria, who was shifting her gaze from Kate’s face to the device in her hand. “May I,” she paused jaw clenching in a way that made Kate want to pull away from her, but Victoria’s thumb gently rubbed on top her hand. “Put my phone number in yours? I mean to keep in contact with each other and…” she let the sentence drop, biting the bottom of her lip.

Kate noticed the way Victoria’s cheek held a noticeable blush. At first, she wanted to watch Victoria squirm under her gaze, and wait out the no that Kate held on the tip of her tongue. Really, it would have been justifiable, but then tonight showed Kate something. A glimpse of something that could be almost healing.

 _Or damaging_ , Kate thought, licking her own bottom lip. Yet the part of Kate that hadn’t changed at all showed her what she needed. Victoria reached out, invited her here, hadn’t been rude to Kate once the entire time. For now, it would be enough, despite them needing to talk.

She exhaled a soft sigh, quirking her brow, “of course.” She removed her hand from the crook of Victoria’s arm, and with her other Kate handed the device to her. “I’ll text you my number after you’re added in.”

“Merci,” Victoria breathed out, finger brushed against Kate’s while she took the phone gracefully, and begun to type away. Kate looked at the door, biting the inside of her cheek to ignore how long and slender her fingers were.

 _Honestly, Chloe would hold an intervention if she knew I thought about it_ , Kate thought, _or make sure to set me up with someone she’s met while working_.

She suppressed a grimace when Victoria handed her the phone back, “There,” she said, giving a small smile. “Now you have my number.”

Kate hummed, looking down to see Victoria’s name on the screen, and wasted no time to send a text. “And now you have mine,” she said, brow raising slightly when Victoria reached inside her pants pocket, retrieving her phone.

“I’ll type your information in now while you're,” Victoria paused and Kate almost swore she heard the hitch in Victoria’s throat. “Here.”

Her expression looked conflicted, jaw clenching the more Kate stared at her. Before she could ask what was wrong her phone vibrated, drawing her attention away. Kate looked down to see a that her ride had messaged her, “I uh,” she started, looking back up at Victoria. “I need to get going. My ride is here.”

For a moment Victoria said nothing, looking down at her phone. Part of Kate felt like she didn’t hear her, and went to repeat herself when Victoria looked up. She gave Kate a tight looking smile, pocketing her phone. “I guess this is farewell, Kate.”

“I--”

Kate’s phone vibrated again, and she shook her head. “It was nice seeing you Victoria,” she found herself saying. She turned from the taller woman, almost missing the way her expression softened. “Maybe this isn’t farewell,” she said after, loud enough for Victoria to catch on.

She doesn’t bother to turn and see, already exiting out of the building. She waved at the man who stood by the door and ran up to a nice looking jeep.

“I was worried I’d have to go all gung-ho to find ya,” her driver said as soon as Kate slipped into the passenger seat. “Jesus fuck if Max was here, she’d be shoving her way inside to drag you out.”

“Really,” Kate sighed, turning to look at the driver. “Using the lord, our savior, like that Chloe?”

“I’m sure the lord wouldn’t mind,” Chloe laughed, dropping the gear to drive away from the sidewalk. “Have you seen how hormonal my love has become ya? She’s got the patience of the Hulk.”

“Possibly because she agreed to spend the rest of her life with you,” Kate huffed, biting her bottom lip to stop from laughing.

“Kate, dat’s low yo,” Chloe grunted a moment before she started laughing. “Behind closed doors she so wants me,” Chloe started, wiggling her brow at Kate once the jeep halted due to a red light. “It’s everyone else she doesn’t have the patience for...well except for you, but that’s because you’re a literal Saint.”

“Didn’t she shout at you while we were on the phone?”

“Details, details,” Chloe muttered, stepping on the accelerator. “It’s because she sat with me while I tattooed some dude bros junk.”

“What?”

“I know right? Literally wanted his cock tatted and everyone else didn’t want to do it. Paying customer is a paying customer, but fuck that was one of the worst ones ever. Almost as bad as that old dude who wanted his ass tatted up.”

Kate grimaced, she remembered the old man. “Fuck, yeah that was awful.”

“You’re telling me,” Chloe laughed, shifting to the next lane. “I needed bleach for my eyeballs then like I do now. Poor babe wanted to rip off the client's wang though. So that made it better.”

“That would have been a sight to behold,” Kate chuckled, relaxing into the seat. An angry Max was always an unexpected delight from her usual kind and timid nature.

“Ugh, such a turn on.” Chloe groaned, causing Kate to roll her eyes. “What she totally is when she’s mad? It’s like...shit dunno how to explain it, but fuck the sex when she’s angry at someone is amazing.”

“Chloe,” Kate paled, looking at her friend wide eyed. “There are some things in life that even I don’t want to know.”

“Uh huh,” Chloe sassed, looking back at Kate once another light turned red. “Need I remind you of the time you brought an unwanted guest home, argued and had the loudest sex any living person could possibly have? Max and I had to get a hotel, and then cleanse our home of any evil spirits after that,” Kate felt her cheeks burn while Chloe chuckled, “Or with Dana. Which holy fuck can she run.”

“Okay. Okay,” she muttered, crossing her arms. “No need to remind me of either.”

“Sorry Kate,” Chloe said, voice softer than usual. “Just giving you the daily dose of parental embarrassment since you’ll always be mine and Max’s first precious child.”

“Fuck off, Price,” Kate grumbled, glaring out of the window with a pout. “I was drunk and it wasn’t fair that you two tag teamed on me with the adoption joke. Plus I’m older than Max by nine days.”

“Details,” Chloe chuckled, bring the jeep to a halt again. “So fancy place you found yourself in.”

“I was invited by the owner,” Kate said, uncrossing her arms when she noticed they were parked outside her complex. “I saw Evan Harris tonight, and found out he married Luke Parker.”

“I don’t think I met Luke, but I know Maximum Pride did a collab with Evan. Seemed like a pretentious ass, so I stayed away from him.”

“He’s not so bad,” Kate sighed, looking down at her hands. “A bit tactless though. He asked me about her.”

“Shit, you okay Bun?”

“I don’t know really,” Kate admitted, looking up at Chloe. “I wanted to run as soon as he brought her up though, I think I would have in not for Victoria bei---”

“Exfuckingcuse me,” Chloe said loudly, looking at Kate wide-eyed. “Bich-toria was there? Fuck, I’m sorry Maxipad declined. If anyone knows how to get Chase to be a fucking decent person it’s my Max.”

“She was surprisingly nice and she owns the place,” Kate offered, giving Chloe a small smile. “I think she tried getting Evan to not pry about...you know.”

“Fuck, fine.” Chloe quipped, tilting her head at Kate. Part of her ponytail slipped over her shoulder. “Ten points for Slytherin I guess? She’s still a conniving bitch though.”

“Maybe she is, maybe she isn’t.” Kate sighed, undoing her seatbelt. “I’m sure she changed like you and I did,” she added a moment after. She noticed the way Chloe was looking at her and sighed again. “Just a feeling and I’m tired.”

“Right, right. You had me drive you home after all.” Chloe stated, relaxing after that. “Go on young Bun. I need to make haste back hometh to cuddle with le wife. Lots of sex in my future if she’s still Mad Max.”

“Ugh, why are we friends.” Kate winced, opening the door to climb out.

“Cause my awesomeness sucked you in,” Chloe cackled, giving Kate a wave. “Plus you love me and Max.”

“My love for Max is unquestionable,” Kate admitted with a nod, before tilting her head. “With you, it varies, and sometimes...well I’ll leave that for you to ponder. Love you though, Chlo!”

Kate shut the door and hustled inside her building before Chloe had time to roll down the window for a resort. She chuckled as soon as she checked her phone, once in the elevator, to see that Chloe sent her the middle finger emoji several times.

“What a dork,” she said fondly, feeling better now that she was almost to her place.

 

* * *

 

Two hours and a comfortable amount of vodka consumed later Kate was showered, cleaned and tucked into bed reading over some notes.

Which proved a bit difficult with how buzzed her brain felt, but she managed. Most of it was the detail needed for her current book, but the plans were always changing. Something she found irksome after a few concept ideas were ridiculed to her face.

 _Assholes_ , Kate’s mind tiredly supplied, causing her to groan. _It’s not like they’re the ones that actually put effort into_ \---

Her thoughts were cut off by the feeling of something vibrating against her leg. With a frown Kate slipped her hand into her blanket, feeling around until she found the source of the vibration.

A small _aha_ slipped from her lips when she looked down at her phone, frowning even more when she found it was a text message from Victoria. She made short work of opening it.

 

| Victoria Chase: It really was good seeing you again Kate, and I’m holding you to that maybe it isn’t farewell by asking if you’d be free to have lunch with me? If not I understand. Xoxo _sent 11:35 p.m_

 

Kate reread the message three times before checking her schedule. The next three were supposed to be busy, but she could see about Thursday. “Maybe I could,” Kate started before stopping herself.

She knew what she said at the gallery. It didn’t have to be a farewell, but there was still bad blood. Old wounds that Kate carried, and she was surprised that they didn’t surface tonight. But then again that had to do with Victoria herself.

She was so different from the girl she used to be, but in some instances still the same. It was conflicting really, and overall it was draining for Kate to think about.

With a slight glare, she reread the message, but the glare slipped away by the fact Victoria asked. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to see her again, maybe things would work out better than Kate assumed.

 _You’re going to regret this_ , Kate thought a moment before moving her fingers on the screen. Once she was done she placed her phone away from her and pushed the papers to the unoccupied side of her bed.

She was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to sleep.

Once the light was turned off Kate laid on her side, eyes fluttering shut within moments. Whatever would happen when she’d see Victoria again, she’d deal with as best as possible. And really she needed the closure.

Didn’t anybody who had been wronged?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, there!
> 
> As some of you may know I'm responsible for, and currently in the works of, another Chasemarsh fic that needs a new title, to be honest. This one, more or less, hit me like a semi and the need to write it produced this chapter. The concept sprang from a what if and touches a base of Kate's character that's often not viewed, and how that will affect her and Victoria as the chapters progress. 
> 
> I do hope you all enjoy this chapter and thank you to Tiger_with_spots for being amazing with your input and looking over this beautiful mess. Your thirst is strong, Muscle Sensei, and it helps fuel mine tbh. ;w;


	2. And We All Fall Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victoria thought she knew the script, but Kate found a way to just unsettle and unhinge her.

The clock on the wall ticked. The hand shifting, causing irritation to prickle throughout her skin. She wanted to scratch at it, rip it off, and run the hell out of the door. But it was too late for that, she was here.

She was early.

Victoria slumped against the seat, shoulders slouched as she let her fingers rhythmically drum against the table top. Every so often she'd peek at the clock, watching the hand move indicating a new minute leading to the desired time agreed upon.

The waitress who lead her to the booth she choose periodically glanced at her, but Victoria was far too busy dreading the fact her eagerness to see Kate had won. Had she not been excited, and more so nervous though she loathe to admit it, she wouldn't be in the hot seat per say.

She wouldn't worry on what kind of impression that would have on Kate, herself. Not that Victoria should care, she shouldn't. Kate was and is her own person, and no matter what she'll always have her own opinion. Or so Taylor yammered on about the day before when all Victoria could do was hyperventilate about the realization of seeing Kate, alive, well and whole, again.

Victoria allowed herself a few seconds to look around the diner, making sure not to make eye contact with the waitress knowing she asked her to wait until her date arrived. Although, Victoria’s not sure why she said date to begin with when all sorts of words could be used to describe Kate and this...meeting.

Her eyes landed on the graffiti leading towards the girl's restroom, and thought of the ones that littered the restroom in Arcadia Bay. That was very thing that sold her on being in this place to begin with. Not to mention the food, though she'd never admit to dining here at two in the morning after a nightmare involving the very woman she's about to see.

Her gaze skipped over to the jukebox. In all fairness this one looked nicer than the one at Two Whales, more modern. She thought about getting up to see the section of music they had, to set the tone. But ultimately she decided against it. As much as she liked to command and demand the attention of others, this was not the time nor was it the place.

On both regards.

Still three minutes left, and Victoria straightened herself up knowing being slouched in her seat was not how she wanted Kate to see her. The touch of vulnerability made Victoria’s nose crinkle. Really if today went anything at all like at her opening night then her worrying and dreading and ideally all of what she's not would be for nothing.

And Victoria wasn't here for nothing. She was here for Kate, and for answers. Definitely answers. Especially why, but that was so fucking loaded even Victoria had a hard time sorting out the beginning, middle and ending of that with how disgustingly tangled it became.

Her irritation flared again. So did the miniscule idea of running away, but she squared her shoulders and exhaled slowly through her nose. She was a Chase. They did not run when a problem presented itself, and found an opportunity with every challenge the world threw at them. If not with their wit, then with their money, but still.

Victoria wouldn't back down until she got what she needed from Kate. No matter how loaded it was. And were it a simple matter of want, well Victoria wouldn't be seated in the diner waiting for Kate.

She'd move on.

And truthfully as she noticed the final minute slowly dissolved into the time she agreed to meet Kate, she stilled her fingers. She would be ready for this.

“Here, dear,” the waitress, Susan, said obscuring the clock from her view. Causing Victoria to focus on the older woman before her. “You look as though you needed this.”

She flicked her gaze down to the water, the ice cubes shifting, and then back to Susan. While she wanted to sneer at the older woman for interrupting her readiness for what was about to happen she decided to grace her with a small smile instead. “Thank you,” Victoria murmured, moving her hand to bring the offered drink closer. “That will be all for now.”

“Right,” the older woman chirped, smiling kindly at Victoria. “Until your date arrives. Hopefully the lad is worth your stress.”

“She's definitely worth the stress,” Victoria said, voice loud and clear. She took a sip of her water, allowing the coolness to soothe her throat. After a moment she added, “and she'll be here soon. I'll be ready to order by then.”

She doesn't spare Susan a glance as the older woman muttered an apology and scurried away. Not that there was anything wrong in the assumption of Victoria stressing over seeing some man. But that was a whole different topic and Victoria wasn't in the mood to sort through her lack of a love life.

And again the not correcting Susan on the date thing was not lost to Victoria. Oh, no. Even she was confused by it. But she sat there knowing a play was about to begin, and the role she needed to fill was dire.

Especially when the role was to be herself.

She closed her eyes a moment counting slowly. A trick Taylor taught her, and it hadn't failed Victoria yet. Not that she would mention this, ever. She had an image to uphold.

Now more so than ever before.

By the time she reached eight she heard heavy steps approach her. Something so achingly familiar that all at once it flooded back to her, and bewildered she snapped her eyes open to see just who came to greet her.

She remembered, of course, what Kate looked like back in Blackwell. The lack of style and originality in her outfits often were met with criticism from Victoria herself, though she saw an improvement at the Gallery. How Kate had come into her own, and knew how to dress for an event.

She almost expected to see something similar or a merge between the two. The lack of originality met with the maturity of what she seen. What she was not expecting however, and even if she believed in god she would attest to them, was Rachel Amber looking back at her.

The leather jacket, the tight white shirt, dark ripped jeans and boots. Hell, even the fucking feather earring. That fucking earring was not something Victoria thought she'd ever see again. Least of all expect Kate Marsh to wear.

Of all fucking things.

Victoria, thrown by what she was looking it, shifted in her seat. “K-K,” she began and stopped, clamping her mouth shut to clear her throat a moment. She wasn't about to make a fool of herself, not here. “Kate,” she said, glad that the second attempt gave the desired results. “I almost didn't recognize you.”

While not a lie, it was also said with a touch of bitterness. Victoria would have felt bad, but her mind was all to focused on the outfit to care. The memories circulated, like an old movie. No sound, but the images still filtered through, and Victoria clenched her hand under the table to get a grip.

“Well,” Kate drawled slowly, causing Victoria to lock her gaze with Kate’s. “You said 2:30, and here I am. Why were you expecting someone else?”

 _I was expecting you_ , Victoria thought sourly, doing her best not to scowl. _The real you, not...definitely fucking not this_. But then again Victoria wasn't sure who the real Kate even was, not even when they were in Blackwell.

The realization made her heart clench, but she ignored it.

Victoria, remembering herself, moved her hand idly to gesture the other side of the booth singling for Kate to sit. She gave Kate a wry smile as she slowly moved to do so. “I wasn't, no. I meant what I said about meeting you here.”

“I see,” she said, with a small hum. “I hope you don't mind me being a few minutes late, I had something to take care of.”

It was polite and vague, Rachel Amber vague. Victoria felt her brow twitch, but she refused to engage any further than a small smile. “That's alright, I was early.”

Kate gave another small hum, taking mercy it seemed on Victoria, and nodded her head. Not offering anything else as she made way to her seat.

As soon as Kate sat down Susan swung by with their menus. Victoria would almost be happy for the interruption, but the older woman gave her a pointed look. So, Victoria returned one of her own. She wasn't about to deal with her on top of Kate. No, just no.

“What can I get you both to drink,” Susan said, tightly. She averted her gaze from Victoria looking directly at Kate, almost judgingly.

“Hot tea,” Kate offered, Victoria watched her tilt her head towards Susan, smiling pleasantly. Almost radiantly, and so familiar that Victoria wanted to reach over and smack her. It wasn't...that wasn't a Kate smile. “Along with honey and a lemon, please?”

“Of course, young lady.” Susan said, looking charmed. It made Victoria’s stomach clench unpleasantly. “What about you, Miss?”

“Another water,” she said, not bothering to look at Susan or Kate. She blinked when her glass was taken away, and she heard fingers drum against the table top.

“So, you can pull your hair back.” Kate said a moment later, causing Victoria to look at her. “Surprisingly, it suits you.”

“Thank you,” Victoria murmured, licking her lips. “The braid is a nice touch.” She eyed how the thick braid rested on Kate’s left shoulder. It was almost how she wore it on opening night, but not quite.

When she focused on Kate’s face she noticed her smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. A shame, really. But she knew pleasantries would only go so far before the play begun, and while Kate had surprised her, Victoria wasn't making an exit just yet.

 

* * *

 

Victoria shifted in her seat, looking down at her water. They've been sitting there for nearly twenty minutes, but neither uttered any other word to each other.

It unnerved Victoria more so than she originally thought when she spoke to Taylor about this moment. She expected tears or some bible verse, but that clearly went out the window by Kate’s choice of outfit.

The particular part she picked threw Victoria for sure, the images played at the back of her mind. Of dark steamy nights pressed against someone so fleeting it made Victoria’s skin crawl.

Her gaze lifted up, looking at Kate, and looked back down. She felt so unsure, the silence coupled with how Kate was dressed and the memories caused Victoria to be hesitant.

She hated it. She was a Chase, they weren't allowed to be hesitant. A bitter feeling bubbled in her gut, and she shifted again folding her arm against her chest.

She forced her eyes to steadily look at Kate. This dragged on long enough, and Victoria was not going to wait any longer. Five years was enough to endure, she wasn't letting this slip by. Not by a long shot.

“Why.”

There it was, Victoria played her hand. The loaded hyperbole of a question that ate at her in her every waking moment for the last five years. One that haunted her as much as Kate did herself.

The question of course didn't seem to deter Kate who took a sip of her drink. The action caused Victoria’s jaw to clench, and the word almost tumbled out again, nearly in volume until Kate set her cup down.

“Why what, Victoria.” Kate started, voice a tad too sweet to be kind. She mimicked Victoria, crossing her arms and lifting her brow. “Why could be for many things, and unfortunately I wasn't born a mind reader.”

Victoria scowled, uncrossing her arms to put both hands on the table top. “Why did you leave, why with her, why did you leav…” but she dropped the sentence, jaw clenched. The last one wasn't really something to ask, never aloud. A thought that should not be entertained at the present moment. “Just, fucking why?”

It sounded dangerously close to a plea, but Victoria had far too much dignity to ever acknowledge it. Her eyes burned into Kate’s profile, her expression looked almost impassive. Another thing so similar and familiar that Victoria’s grip tightened.

Kate let out a humorless chuckle, “well I think it's quite obvious why I left Victoria,” she licked her lips, the action not lost on Victoria herself while she spoke again. “As for why her, well she certainly wasn't _you_.” How it was said felt like a smack to Victoria’s face.

All at once she felt the person she buried dig her way out of the grave Victoria put her in. She hadn’t needed her, not with all she accomplished without her. But in that moment the eighteen year old pulled herself out and pushed who Victoria was aside.

 ** _Who does this bitch think she is_** , the thought sneered, causing something dark and ugly to flash through Victoria’s mind. **_Doesn't she remember what we’re capable of? What_ I'm _capable of?_**

Just as she was about to voice this Kate leaned forward, pushing her chest up as she did revealing the dark bra through her thin white shirt, and tilted her head so that Victoria would make eye contact with her. The action caused Victoria to freeze in place. She was no longer looking at Kate, but at Rachel herself.

_“You really think that's going to work,” she asked, scowling. Victoria felt her defenses slip by the very grin that the other wore on her face. “I-I’m on to your tricks Amber!”_

_A laugh, so melodic, that the will to fight slipped away from her. “Oh, Victoria,” Rachel said, leaning forward pushing her chest up as she did revealing a bit of cleavage, “you still have so much to learn.”_

Victoria inhaling sharply once the memory left her, and she noticed the smile. It was done beautifully, so beautifully, that Victoria felt stripped of her defenses completely.

“Shouldn't I be the one asking you why,” she said, voice flat despite the smile on her lips. “Shouldn't I be the one demanding these answers from you and you be the one answering me?”

Victoria blinked once, twice, and inhaled sharply once more as she noticed hazel eyes darken by the second. “And pray tell, why then and why now,” she asked, raising her voice a fraction. “Why do you care so damn much that I left with her when you were the one who helped put me on that roof in the first place.”

Victoria knew _she_ wanted these answers, and preferably now. But she couldn't supply them nor could she help the memory that crossed her mind.

_“You really ask too fucking much ya know,” Rachel said, voice slightly raised. Her hair mussed from the wind, eyes narrowed as she looked at Victoria. “Why do you care so much about what I do and who I do it with when you do the exact same thing?”_

She blinked it away quickly, almost jumping when she noticed Kate stand. All pretense of Rachel gone, replaced with an icy stare. “Your silence is more than enough,” Kate said, looking down at Victoria. “I don't know what I expected, not really, but it's clear you're still the same girl that demands and gives nothing in return. And I have no time for someone as self centered and selfish as you.”

Before Victoria could protest Kate left, with not even so much as a glance back. Her words had cut deep, and Victoria felt the build up of tears. Her grip on the table top tightened until her knuckles were stark white.

She felt the pulse in her neck throb, her jaw clenched tightly. What the actual fuck just happened?

She pushed herself upright, exhaling slowly while she relinquished her hold of the table. Her hand fumbling for her wallet as she took a hundred dollar bill out and threw on the table.

She spared a glance at Susan, noting the smirk on the old woman’s face and scowled. “Laugh it up you old hag,” Victoria hissed, voice dripping with venom. It seemed to rattle the old woman while Victoria pushed her way out of the diner, not bothering to look back as she went.

 

* * *

 

Everything else blurred together, and honestly Victoria wasn't sure how exactly she made it back to her apartment. But nevertheless she fell to her knees in front of her loveseat, and the tears seeped out.

“Fuck,” she said, voice shaking with each new wave of tears. “Fucking, fuck. Fuck,” she repeated, voice growing in range and pitch, her chest heaving. “F-fuck--”

She slammed her hands down against the cushion, body shaking as she gasped for air. It didn't go as planned, that would be an understatement of the fucking year. Everything she talked to Taylor about, in detail, had Victoria’s script ready.

They'd meet, Kate would more or less be herself, and Victoria would do the same. She'd be who she became these past five years, she'd be patient and play her cards just right.

 ** _Like you'd fucking know how to do that_** , her inner voice cackled, **_you weren't even a patient child. I mean you demanded so much from your parents._**

 _Shut up_ , she argued back. _Shut the fuck up_.

 ** _Or what_** , the voice taunted. **_You got rid of me, remember? Grew some moral fucking compass when you're so fucking weak without me. Over what though, you weren't the reason the fucking basket case almost jumped._**

 _Shut the fuck up_ , she repeated, anger bubbling. _You're nothing, I was nothing because of you._

 _ **Hafuckingha**_ , the voice mocked, **_you were nothing before I was even conjured. Mommy and Daddy wanted nothing to do with little Vicky. Mommy look at this, Daddy I got a gold star, geez so fucking pathetic. No wonder you needed me_** , the voice hummed gleefully.

Victoria recoiled, gasping while the inner voice laughed. **_Oh, still a sore subject isn't it? Apparently so is Amber, woof_**. The voice paused, bringing forth images Victoria didn't want to see. **_Remember what it was like, Vicky? Fucking her, and she leaving you wet and needy?_**

The image played slowly, _they're in a dark room and Victoria has Rachel pressed against the wall, kneeling before her, worshipping her. Rachel’s moaning, tugging at Victoria’s hair as she brought Rachel to her peak, and with one final press of her tongue helped her into an orgasm. She pressed harder into Victoria, voice lost into the thumping base of the music in the next room. It's intoxicating, and Victoria was so wet._

_She kissed her way up Rachel’s body, dragging it out, hoping this time would be different. But then she felt the familiar tap, heard the playful laugh, “we’re missing the party, let’s go.” And she knew, she knew it wouldn't happen._

_“Yeah, sure,” Victoria muttered, though it was lost in the base too as she pulled away._

_**And you never did get off did you**_ , the voice laughed. **_Each time you did the work and she benefited from it, using you. No wonder you just get fucked now and leave people high and dry._**

 _That's not true,_ Victoria shot back, trying to remember the last time she touched someone. Nothing came forth, and the voice laughed again.

 ** _Liar, liar, liar_** , the voice chanted. **_And Rachel saw through that, remember?_**

_“Whatever, it's just sex anyways,” Victoria grumbled, sitting back against the seat of her car with Rachel beside her._

_“Uh huh,” Rachel said, taking a slow drag from her cigarette. “You still asked me to come with you to Seattle to stay at your parent’s beach house.” Rachel mumbled, exhaling the smoke. “Not really something fuck buddies do.”_

_Victoria blinked, twice. Looking at Rachel wondering why she had to be so difficult. It was just sex, she knew that. She wasn't dumb enough to get attached. And who would want to stay here anyways on break?_

_**You know, you know**_ , the voice laughed again. **_It's funny how you try to get yourself to believe that, even I knew it was pathetic and I'm simply part of your imagination. Really, you wanted her. You wanted to be her, but more importantly you wanted her, and she didn't want you. Story of your life, and doesn't it sound deliciously familiar, Vicky?_**

 _No_ , Victoria shot back, the tears felt hot on her cheek, _don't fucking go there._

 ** _Oh, but it's so fun to remind you_** , the voice groaned. _**Especially when you were the one who wanted someone else and fucked that completely too. Like a little boy in elementary school at that.**_

Images of Kate begun to filter in, pushing the memories of Rachel aside.

 _ **Everyone loved her,**_ the voice stated plainly. **_Shit, everyone knew her by name during your first year attending Blackwell. Yet, nobody knew you did they? And didn't little Vicky burn with such jealousy then. Ah, you made some boy cry because he went on about Kate Marsh_ this _, and Kate Marsh_ that _._**

 _I'm. Not. Listening_. Victoria bit out, trying her damnedest to shake the thought away. _You're in my head, and I buried you once._

 ** _Oh, ho, ho_** , the voice sang out. _**Big talk for someone who let me come back out. Over a gimmick no less, and it's hilarious. Played you like a fiddle didn't she? Bet you she learned it from Amber, and got to laugh about it after she left. Without so much of a glance either.**_

“Shut. Up.” Victoria bit out, pushing herself away from the loveseat in defiance. “You're not real. I don't have to listen to this,” she said, loud and commanding.

 _ **Too bad**_ , the voice nagged. **_I'm not going anywhere. Not so easily this time, you're stuck with me since I'm a part of you._**

The reminder caused Victoria to stumble to the kitchen. She wretched opened the cabinet by the sink and pulled out three medium sized bottles of rum she had on hand whenever guests came over for a gathering. The voice pressed on, of course, but she unscrewed the cap and brought the tip of the bottle to her lips before she had half the mind to listen.

It was the only thing that ever quieted the voice before. Why she went to so many parties just to dull her mind, for peace. Now she's doing it again, allowing the liquor to seep into her system.

The first one went down easy enough, the only thing she could do from memory. The only way to shut the voice up. Not for long, but long enough to have silence. The second one she chugged until she needed to gasp for air, liquid running down her chin and neck, well into her shirt.

Undeterred she finished, grabbing the third to take with her as she stumbled to her room. If this was going to continue, if the voice really was back, she needed the only person that understood.

Once the bottle was placed on her nightstand she fumbled for the phone in her pocket, and beadily looked through her contacts until she hit call, bringing the device to her ear.

By the second ring the line picked up, “I fucked up,” her voice cracked, wrought with a hiccuped sob. “I-I’m a fucking mess and I fucked up,” she pressed, not giving the person time to speak. “I don't know what to do, she's back, and I-I can't,” her voice pitch raised, cracking even more. “I don't feel strong enough,” she whimpered out. “And I just wanted,” she tried, voice hoarse from crying. “I-I just wanted us to start over, y-you said it wasn't going to be easy and I know that, but fuck I messed it all up again!”

She fell silent a second later, trying to control her breathing, waiting for a response. For a moment nothing was said, no reassurance or comforting words of ‘I'm coming over’, instead Victoria was met with silence. “Taylor,” she whimpered, feeling smaller by the second.

“Victoria,” a voice, not Taylor’s. Definitely not Taylor’s. Her heart clenched painfully, barely missing the voice speak again. “You called the wron---”

“Fuck,” she swore hitting end call, and fumbled around her contacts until she found Taylor. The need to drink more amplified but she pressed on, working out her message with haste.

Before deciding against it, and double checking to make sure it went to the right person, Victoria hit send. Once she did, she chucked her phone onto her bed and started to strip out of her clothes.

Emotionally spent she made way under the covers, too drained to want to do anything else. The voice was quiet, and for now Victoria would rest.

Fleetingly she thought of Kate. Of before the party, before the video. And how radiant she was. It was around the time Rachel had grown bored with her, and Victoria noticed Kate more.

Putting a face to the name was easy, and sure back then she would like to pretend she wasn't impressed. But oh, how she glowed. Like an angel, though then Victoria had her own issues and couldn't say it aloud, didn't want to bother entertaining the idea.

Yet right now the tears prickled in her eyes, the thought flickered in.

Why did you leave me, she wanted to ask, but knew there was no reason to voice it. There was nothing between them but bad history due to Victoria herself. But still, in moments such as this she entertained the idea of more. Of being courageous enough to voice her want back then.

If she wasn't such a bitch, if she actually talked to Kate, if she hadn't gotten mad after the kiss, or took the video as revenge and posted it. If she just hadn't ruined her life more, maybe. Maybe there would have been something tangible.

But there was no repeats, there were no do overs. Victoria made those choices, and here she was in bed after dealing a bad hand, yet again.

All her choices. All led her down paths she had not wanted to venture.

Exhausted she closed her eyes one final time, exhaling slowly. Her breath evened out a moment later, the thought slipped away into nothingness.

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

On the other side of town Kate sat rigid, knuckles stark white as she held on to her desk. Tension coiled in her gut, causing her hands to grip painfully tighter.

Almost numbingly. 

Her breathing was erect, chest heaving as she tried to work out the technique her old therapist taught her. She inhaled through her nose slowly, waited a few seconds before exhaling a shaky breath, and repeated the action. 

All the while she focused on what she had heard, knowing rightfully that she had screwed up, spectacularly. Truthfully she had expected the entire event to go differently, she expected yelling and swearing and even _blaming_. 

She didn't account for the after effect, she didn't bother to even wonder what it would mean to her by hearing it. 

After a moment of controlled breathing she picked up her device, thumbing over to a familiar, comforting, number, and pressed it into her ear. Within the first ring the line opens up, “Max,” Kate started, voice thick, “I made a mistake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesus, I really feel for Victoria. Although I put her in this predicament so I'll make it up to her..eventually. 
> 
> Anyways, here it is! Chapter two, yay! Finally got it out of the way, and just. My feels, all of the feels. And I'm sure some of your feels, eh? 
> 
> Speaking of, I hoped you enjoyed this whirlwind of a chapter through Victoria's eyes. Seeing how she ticks and her own issues and desires were fun to work with, and special thanks to a certain someone for giving me pointers and keeping the enthusiasm and encouragement alive. 
> 
> Anyways, yeah. Until next time :'D be prepared for Taylor and Max to have an appearance, and we shall see Susan again...also eventually.
> 
> Edited: Cries into the abyss, so guys I had to edit a bit. But hopefully it reads a little better now. T~T


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